Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Scientific breakthrough

Because Google has replaced the left side of my brain, I know that peroxide is an example of an “unstable chemical.” I am here to expose to the world the previously unknown unstable characteristics of a well-known chemical identified by its household name of “Fiber.” The scientific process of examination I undertook is unconventional. I call it “using too much of something.” I applied this process during my scientific examination of how eating ginger will affect the symptoms of nausea. In the course of a single day I consumed ginger tea, ginger hard candy, candied ginger, and yes, gingerbread. After this experiment, the result was that the smell of ginger actually induced nausea, which was a scientific breakthrough that will be fully discussed in the Spring, 2007, New England Journal of Medicine. After this successful and illuminating experiment I turned my focus to a widely regarded remedy for constipation known as “Fiber." In the course of a day, I consumed a serving of high fiber cereal, an apple, a bowl of vegetable soup, a bran muffin, and a salad. The unstable nature of this chemical was subsequently revealed and can only be described as, “explosive.” Suffice it to say that I had to take a half day off of my regular job to fully document the results which will be discussed in the Fall, 2007 issue of Viz.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

KABOOM!!!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent post. Nice leadup, good setting of the stage, & a successful conclusion, leaving little, if anything, left to sort out.

Just like -- um, well, just like a good trip to the gym.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moderation in moderation!

More of everything & less of nothing!

10:46 AM  

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