High Score

I think B and I broke the world record on quickest registry experience ever. The way registering works is that the baby store gives you a laser gun that scans the barcodes of the items you want to add to your list. The effect of this method is completely predictable to anyone who has met my husband. Before I could say how does it work or where should we start, B was shooting away at baby bottles and pacifiers in full video game mode where the objective was to identify the category of item(s) sold on each aisle and shoot to kill anything pink in that category. Occasionally he would pause to look at the scanner and report cheerfully on how many items he had scanned. At one point I thought about putting my foot down to try and figure out what we would need, but the truth was, I found the store completely overwhelming. The bottle section alone was at least sixteen feet of different brands, sizes, packages, combinations and colors. I did at least try to keep in front of him so I could get a general idea of the aisle before he entered the arena but it just turned out to make me laugh the whole time because all I could hear was the scanner going off behind me like an approaching assassin. We must have looked like maniacs because each aisle we went through had little packs of parents and shoppers reading tags and referencing guidebooks and we would blast in, hit some buttons, touch some fabric, and shoot out the other end. The majority of our time was spent in the clothing section where B shot anything that had the word “daddy” on it and I selected any item that came in a three-pack or was made out of really soft material. Final score? 65 items in forty minutes.