Baby steps

When B and I bought our house we made a major miscalculation. Not in the financial sense – I mean we calculated correctly that we would be dead broke if we bought it. But in the sense that we thought that with the ownership of a house would come the enjoyment fixing things around the house, keeping our lawn nice and working in the garden. This turned out to be not-so-much the case. We don’t mow our lawn, I hate working in the garden, and the things that need to be fixed inside the house stay unfixed until we can afford to pay someone else to fix them, which means we had a bucket in our bathroom for three months catching a drip from the toilet. Now, my concern is that I have assumed that because I am going to have a baby, I will become a mommy. In the literal sense this is true, but will I have tissues on hand to blow her nose? Will I have healthy snacks available? Will I have entertainment alternatives to television? Will I ever get past the fact that I think breastfeeding is so icky I can’t even look at a cartoon illustration of it? Judging from my prior house miscalculation the answer to the above is probably no. But I can point to some small signs that I am moving towards mommy-hood in that I suddenly love everything pink, I bought antiseptic wipes for the counters, and I have started to make sure I put the caps back on my medicine bottles. I’ll try to take some comfort in the idea that this is what is meant by “baby steps.”